Understanding
by shipallllltheships
Summary: Tiny ficlet. After Lexa leaves Clarke's quarters, Clarke has a change of heart.
1. Chapter 1

The door closed softly behind Lexa and Clarke cursed inaudibly, and rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted; it had felt like one of her longest days on the ground. From her first disastrous Council session as Ambassador of the 13th clan to the moment Lexa's spear pierced Nia's chest, she felt as though she'd been holding her breath. It wasn't until she met Lexa's eyes across the square that she had been able to exhale.

And now her head was spinning again. The Commander's visit had been unexpected, but appreciated. She couldn't believe Lexa had come to her room just to thank her. Gratitude was a new look on her, but a good one. But Clarke was struggling. She had spent all day desperately scheming to try to save Lexa's life, but she hadn't needed saving. Clarke was so used to having to be the hero lately; she'd forgotten how it felt to let someone else do the rescuing.

But though her plans for saving Lexa had come to naught, Lexa hadn't made her feel useless. She still appreciated the effort. And Clarke had finally, _finally_ , realized that Lexa wasn't just capable of saving herself. She was potentially capable of saving them all, if Clarke let her.

She had asked Lexa how she was going to move forward with her ambassadors after their betrayal, but she didn't care about the other twelve and Lexa knew it. She had been trying to figure out how to move past Mount Weather since her arrival in Polis, and Lexa's grace under fire had convinced her. They were one and the same, she and Lexa. Just trying to save their people.

 _Our people._ Clarke corrected herself. She wasn't alone in this anymore. She wasn't alone.

She ran out the door, down the hall, and to the lift. Convincing the guards to bring her to Lexa's chambers was too easy; she must have left word that Wanheda was to be brought to her anytime she desired. Clarke smiled to herself.

She knocked on the door and heard movement inside. Lexa appeared, still in the same gown. Clarke's breath caught in her throat as Lexa's face melted into a soft smile. They stared at each other for a moment before Clarke was able to speak.

"I…I'm sorry."

Lexa nodded. "I know."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Clarke," Lexa replied, reaching out and taking Clarke's hand in her own uninjured one, "there is nothing for me to forgive."

"I know that you were only doing what you had to do. I know that your responsibility to your people comes first. I know that it wasn't personal – "

"Clarke," Lexa interrupted. "It became personal. I did what I had to do. But I hated myself for it. More than you could ever know."

Clarke's eyes filled with tears. "I think I know."

Lexa nodded once, sharply. She glanced at the guards at the end of the hall and dropped her gaze. "Clarke…"

This time it was Clarke's turn to interrupt. "Can I come in?" The words were rushed and too loud, and she immediately blushed.

Lexa slowly lifted her head. The intensity in her gaze shocked them both, but she nodded. "Yes."

She didn't take her eyes off of Clarke as she led her by the hand into her bedroom, closing the door quietly behind them.

 _Author's note: Thanks for reading! May update with a second (smutty) chapter of what happens after the door closes if inspiration strikes._


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Well, you guys asked for it. Here you go! The following is definitely smut. Fluffy, first-time smut, but smut nonetheless. Read at your own risk._

* * *

As she stepped into the room, Clarke froze. "Lexa," she whispered, "this is beautiful."

The room was softly lit with dozens of flickering candles. The double doors to the outside were open and the tapestries adorning the walls were fluttering in a light breeze. Clarke's eyes moved to the large, ornate bed in the center of the room. The covers were mussed; Lexa had clearly been in bed when Clarke knocked.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again. "You must be so tired, I shouldn't be disturbing you."

Lexa's eyes had been locked onto Clarke from the moment they entered the room, and at these words they narrowed into slits. "You aren't disturbing me."

Clarke realized she was searching for more excuses. For days now, she had been swearing that her actions were only to protect her people. She refused to let herself consider any other possibilities. But she was done. No more excuses. She nodded, took a deep breath, and stepped closer to Lexa.

The Commander inhaled quickly as Clarke placed one hand on her waist and another on her shoulder. She felt fingers trailing up her neck as Clarke move to cup her cheek. They were a hairsbreadth away, and Lexa reminded herself to be still, terrified of startling Clarke away. But Clarke had made up her mind, and she leaned in, her lips brushing Lexa's softly.

Lexa shivered at the touch and reached out, wrapping her arms around Clarke and pulling her close. The kiss deepened as their lips parted, Clarke's tongue slipping into Lexa's mouth and eliciting a quiet murmur from the Commander. Clarke pulled back, marveling at the vulnerability of the woman in front of her. Lexa's breath was coming in little bursts, and she was staring at Clarke hungrily.

Clarke took a deep breath. This wasn't about her people. This was about Clarke, and about Lexa. For the first time that she could remember since crashing to the ground, she was acting selfishly. At any other time, her thoughts would be racing, contemplating all of the things that could go wrong. But Lexa's lips on hers, hands pressed into her lower back, body radiating heat, were easily sufficient to clear her mind completely, leaving her with only a burning desire for more.

In one quick movement, she pushed Lexa backwards until her legs hit the bed. She gazed down at her for a moment before untying her robe and dropping it on the ground. Lexa's eyes widened as she took her in, but Clarke was on top of her and kissing her neck in an instant. She started to fumble frantically with the ties on Lexa's robe but Lexa grabbed her hands and held them still.

"Clarke," she whispered. "Wait."

Clarke froze. "Shit." She pulled back, stood up, and reached down for her robe. "I'm so sorry, I thought – shit. I'm so sorry."

Faster than she would have thought possible, Lexa was off the bed and beside her, tugging the robe from her hands and tossing it aside. "No," she murmured vehemently, shaking her head. She sighed. "Clarke. It has…been a while. For me. And…" she was having a hard time getting the words out, and she couldn't meet Clarke's gaze. "I have wanted you for a very long time," she finally stammered.

Clarke smirked lightly, but her heart leapt at the admission. Because wasn't that the truth? In the time she had known Lexa, she had watched her rule her people wisely and fairly, but ruthlessly. Yet she had reserved a gentleness for Clarke that she never would had expected. Clarke had recently spit in her face, threatened to kill her, actually plotted to kill her, and physically held a knife to her throat. And all Lexa had done in retaliation was apologize to her. She couldn't imagine Lexa extending that courtesy to anyone else. She also couldn't imagine Lexa looking at anyone else the way she was currently looking at her.

Clarke swallowed hard. Lexa's eyes were raking up and down her body, slowly taking in every inch of her. She was feeling self-conscious, but Lexa's gaze was reassuring. She was looking at Clarke as if she were made of gold.

Lexa reached out and took Clarke's hand, tugging her gently back onto the bed. Clarke's heart was pounding out of her chest as they lay on their sides next to each other. Lexa's eyes bored into hers as she trailed her fingers down Clarke's side. Her skin tingled at the feather-light touch. She reached up and threaded her fingers through Lexa's hair, pulling their heads together and kissing her gently. She felt Lexa's hands around her waist, tugging her closer, and she let out a quiet moan at the feeling of their bodies pressing together. She deepened the kiss, moving her lips hard against Lexa's. She was becoming frantic again, searching for skin beneath Lexa's robe, and once more, Lexa stalled her hands.

"Clarke," she whispered, and Clarke shivered at the sound of her name. "We have time."

Lexa gently pushed her shoulders down until Clarke was flat on her back, the Commander hovering above her. Lexa pressed her lips to Clarke's jaw, just below her ear, and her body responded quickly. She felt her hips rise slightly, saw her nipples harden, felt a dampness between her legs. Lexa raised her eyes to meet Clarke's, and Clarke knew that she had noticed as well. Lexa continued kissing her neck, moving her lips to her collarbone and back up. Clarke shivered as she felt a tongue caressing her earlobe.

"Lexa, please," Clarke croaked. "I want to feel you."

Lexa sat up next to her and nodded. She slowly undid the ties on her robe and shrugged it off. As she revealed herself, Clarke felt her mouth go dry. Her body was black and blue from the fight, and covered with scars. But she had never seen anything more beautiful. She reached up and lightly touched Lexa's neck, tracing her fingers downwards over her collarbone, around the slight curve of her breast, down her side and finally rested on her hip. She tugged lightly, and Lexa smiled as she understood what Clarke was asking for.

She swung her leg over Clarke's body until she was straddling her, and Clarke sat up, Lexa in her lap. She wrapped her arms around Lexa and dug her nails into her back, causing her to arch and cry out. Clarke stared at her hungrily, head thrown back, nipples hard, stomach muscles taut.

Lexa recovered and kissed Clarke hard, pushing her backwards until she was laying flat once more. She ground her hips and Clarke gasped, feeling Lexa press against her. They were both wet, Clarke could feel it now. She trailed her hands lower, grabbing Lexa's ass and forcing her closer. They moved as one, a slow wave building between them, until Lexa broke the spell. She shifted, using her leg to spread Clarke's own, and began kissing her way down Clarke's body. Her hands were busy, tracing patterns over breasts and sides as she used her tongue to create trails for her kisses. Clarke whimpered, her body desperate for more.

In response, Lexa's hands found their way to Clarke's center. Fingers moved through wet folds as Clarke bucked her hips, panting heavily. Lexa's fingers teased her opening for a moment before Lexa stopped, gazing down at Clarke seriously.

"Is this okay?" she asked softly.

Clarke stared up at her. Commander Lexa, Heda of the 13 Clans, mastermind of the Coalition, destroyer of the Ice Queen, and all-around badass, was making sure this was what Clarke really wanted. She felt her heart breaking a little as she realized that Lexa was still unsure of how Clarke felt about her. She nodded slowly, reaching down to cover Lexa's hand with her own.

"Lexa," she responded, her voice breathy and low. "This is everything."

Clarke watched the faintest trace of a smile cross Lexa's face before she pressed two fingers inside her and she could no longer see. She gasped, her hand grabbing for something to hold on to and settling for the intricate headboard above her. She clenched her fist tightly as Lexa moved slowly, in and out. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she didn't realize Lexa had shifted again until she felt the first touch of her tongue against her clit. She cried out, pressing her face into the sheets, trying to muffle her noises, but eventually gave up. She was unable to concentrate on anything except what Lexa was doing to her body.

Lexa, for her part, was enjoying taking her time. She kept up a steady pace with her hand, moving her fingers in and out. Her tongue traced trails from Clarke's opening up to her clit, back and forth. She felt Clarke twitching underneath her, heard her whimper every time Lexa moved away from her clit. She smiled against her skin as Clarke lifted her hips, pressing hard into Lexa's mouth. She got the message.

She curled her fingers inside Clarke and she moaned, arching her back as Lexa stroked inside her. She moved her mouth upwards and focused all of her energy on the clit. She traced circles around it, alternating between sucking and licking, feeling Clarke clenching tight against her hand as she continued. Clarke was gasping, her breath coming in tiny bursts.

"Lexa," she managed. "Beja."

Lexa's heart pounded, hearing Clarke beg for her. She increased her speed, focusing only on bringing Clarke pleasure. Her chest swelled as she heard her name stagger from Clarke's lips as she clenched hard around Lexa's hand, finally feeling release. She heard Clarke's breathing slowly beginning to level out and she carefully removed her hand, moving upwards and curling her body around Clarke.

"Clarke," she whispered. "Was that satisfactory?"

Clarke groaned in response. "Jesus, Lexa." She rolled over with great effort and faced her. She reached up and stroked Lexa's cheek tenderly. "You couldn't tell? More than satisfactory."

Lexa smiled. "I'm glad."

They lay in silence for a moment. Clarke didn't take her eyes off of Lexa as she trailed fingers lightly up and down her side. "Lexa?"

"Yes, Clarke?"

"Mochof."

"You're welcome." She paused. "For what?"

"Everything."

They were quiet again, Clarke's breathing finally slowly to normal. Lexa's eyes had closed, and she was worried she was falling asleep. "Lexa?" she said again.

Lexa's eyes stayed closed, but she smiled. "Yes, Clarke?"

"Ai badan yu op en nou moun."

She opened her eyes and looked at Clarke soberly. She had never allowed herself to believe that they could get to this point. Clarke's anger over Mount Weather had been raw and Lexa had not been sure if they would ever truly get past it. She was willing to be patient. And seeing Clarke's concern over her today had been touching. But Clarke had continued to insist that she was just looking out for her people, and it had hurt Lexa. She had sworn fealty to Clarke, and she meant it. She expected nothing in return. But hearing these words from Clarke cracked her open and she felt tears fill her eyes. She blinked quickly, refusing to let them fall.

"Thank you, Clarke," she responded quietly. "That means a lot."

Clarke smiled. "Now," she said coyly, "let me prove it."

Lexa felt her pulse quicken as Clarke rolled on top of her, kissing her deeply.

* * *

Trigadasleng translations:

beja - please  
mochof - thank you  
ai badan yu op en nou moun - I serve you and no other


End file.
